December in Film

Image credit - kisum

Image credit – kinsum

Believe it or not, here at Bread&Crows, we have friends. Real life friends.

One of those friends, Megan Armstrong, went to the cinema on multiple occasions this month, and has written some words about each of those occasions for us.

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Grotto (part two) – a festive short story

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Part one.

‘The woman with the dogs was in the pub again this morning. A Labrador and a Border Collie, I think. Another successful operation.’

Days were coming and going. Bram continued to reside at The Solstice, in his room overlooking the square. The Grotto wrapped itself in mist beyond railings on the far side.

‘The Grotto is as still as ever.’

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Grotto (part one) – a festive short story

Grotto

Bram Salinger woke up. Night. He wasn’t sure where he’d been, but now he was lying on a bench under a gnarled, leafless tree. Everything was laced with frost. With a yawn he found his feet and swung them over onto the ground. Crunching snow.

He staggered from the bench across a cobbled road, and leant himself up against a set of iron railings. These surroundings were unfamiliar.

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Who is Chris Morris?

This is Chris Morris.

A few nights ago, whilst I was out being uncharacteristically social, somebody made reference to a scene from Four Lions. I turned to her, pleasantly surprised, and said, ‘you like Chris Morris?’

‘Who’s Chris Morris?’ she asked.

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Jack of the Lantern – A Hallowe’en Short Story

Pumpkin and photograph of pumpkin - Glenn Rhodes

Pumpkin and photograph of pumpkin – Glenn Rhodes

In 1959, American screenwriter Rod Serling discovered the fifth dimension, the Twilight Zone. Beyond that dimension is a sixth dimension: Hallowe’en. You unlock this dimension with a ridiculous costume and a plastic bucket shaped like a comic book ghoul. It is a dimension of tricks, a dimension of treats, a dimension of tooth decay.

Okay, yes, Hallowe’en was yesterday, but its horrors are timeless. Tonight’s tale details one such horror – that of Jack of the Lantern.

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The Bogtown Ghost Train – A Hallowe’en Short Story

A not so merry go round – lizerixt

In 1959, American screenwriter Rod Serling discovered the fifth dimension, the Twilight Zone. Beyond that dimension is a sixth dimension: Hallowe’en. You unlock this dimension with a ridiculous costume and a plastic bucket shaped like an anthropomorphic pumpkin. It is a dimension of tricks, a dimension of treats, a dimension of tooth decay.

We celebrate this dimension with a series of tales. In tonight’s tale, the bright lights of a local amusement park are extinguished forever. Not literally, you understand, but we have to sell this to you somehow.

Hold on tightly to your lap bar because this is a rollercoaster ride headed straight to the Twilight Zo… er, sorry, Hallowe’en.

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20 things that definitely WON’T happen during Freshers’ Week

DISCLAIMER: Lights of varying colour might happen.

DISCLAIMER: Lights of varying colour might happen.

Freshers’ Week – one week of the year when things do and don’t take place.

You’ve heard all about the things that are going to happen during Freshers’ Week, but what about all the stuff that won’t happen? Because there is a lot of it, and you need to be prepared.

For your sake, we’ve listed twenty instances of that very stuff.

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20 things that will definitely happen to you during Freshers’ Week because Freshers’ Week is really mental

A creature of Greek mythology joins the celebrations

A creature of Greek mythology joins the celebrations

Freshers’ Week – The Greatest Week of Your Life, Bar None (And You’ll Be Visiting Plenty of Bars)

So you’re going to university, are you? Your silly parents probably reckon it’s all about books, hats, and desks, the dweebs. What they’re not counting on is a little something called Freshers’ Week.

Like a terminal illness or Jesus, Freshers’ Week is something that really cannot be explained or described – it must be experienced. Even so, like NHS Direct or the New Testament, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Here are 20 things that will definitely happen to you during Freshers’ Week because Freshers’ Week is really mental.

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iThoughts – Our response to the iPhone 6, the Apple Watch, and *that* Steve Jobs hologram

Cor, look at these watches

Cor, look at these watches

Yesterday, at a massive media event in Cupertino, California, tech company Apple unveiled the latest in its line of expensive smartphones, and threw a curveball in the shape of an expensive smartwatch (nah, we all knew it was coming): the iPhone 6 and the Apple Watch, respectively.

Here’s what the good men and women of Bread&Crows made of it all.

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Bread&Crows at the iPhone 6 launch – liveblog details

B&C@IP6L0909146PMBST
We’re liveblogging the iPhone 6 launch event from 6pm BST / 10am PDT. Join us on Twitter for our insubstantial coverage.

We’ve been away for a while, but now we’re back. Wahey, wahoo, etc. Did you miss us? Probably not. Bet you didn’t even realise we’d gone. How’s that for gratitude? After all we’ve done for you. Remember that time we looked after your baby so you could go and see The Wolf of Wall Street? Oh, what does it matter that it wasn’t actually your baby?

Speaking of babies (and repugnant displays of capitalism), tech company Apple are set to give birth to the iPhone 6 at a special launch event today. Their aluminium womb is bulging, and their waters – just like the screen of every Apple product we’ve owned – are about to break. It’s our intention, in classic Bread&Crows style, to liveblog the whole ordeal. You’re very welcome to join us. Things are set to kick off in sunny Cupertino at 6pm BST, or 10am PDT, depending on which side of the vast Atlantic you inhabit.

So, snap on your purple gloves (open the live stream) and join us in the delivery room (follow us on Twitter) for the birth of a century (no, not The Birth of a Nation).

Now, push! PUSH!!!

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